We had a fantastic revision party today! We talked about various revision techniques (including talking about if we had kiki or bouba poems!). Each student chose a poem they were interested in continuing to work on and a goal for their revision. A lot of students were interested in doing playful things with form. We love that you can use the page anyway you want in poetry! Here are a few revisions:
Nihal decided to use longer lines in her revision to create a slower and more relaxed feel:
Walking into the New Year
-Nihal
I am walking into
the new year. I am as calm as a
sloth. I will be packing
all the good things
with me and I’ll
throw away the
bad things. I’m taking
my suitcases of good things
to the airport and the
bad things to the
dumpster. I am walking
into the new year like
I’m walking on the street.
I’m walking into the new year like I’m
going to the store.
Kass changed his form to express the energy and jumpiness of his poem. You actually read it from the BOTTOM up! The words are included below, but please look at the picture to better see the form:
Jumping into the New Year
Kass
FREE
SO
FAST
SO
COMPUTER
A
LIKE
RESTARTING
AM
I
ME
BEHIND
EVERYTHING
LEAVING
SUDDEN
VERY
QUICKLY
VERY
KANGAROO
A
LIKE
NEW YEAR
THE
INTO
JUMPING
AM
I
Alex also experimented with form in their revision–shaping the words differently throughout depending on the poem’s tone: (the words are included but please see the picture to see the creative form)
The Names My Friends Call Me
My friends call me by
different names.
Most people call me
Alex or my birthname, but
my friends sure don’t.
They call me “Alexa”
or “Alex” in a funny
voice. It makes me me
think of school and I can taste
the strawberry milk through the straw.
I can feel my friend’s warm hands on me.
I can smell the busy hallways and classrooms.
I can see students stumble into classrooms
with their stuff and I can hear students
talking and giggling.
