It was revision day at Washington this week! Poems are rarely finished in one sitting, so we got the chance to look back at all the poems we’ve written so far and dive deeper into one of them. We made our own personal word banks, one based on an interesting word from our first drafts, and one based on a hobby or skill of ours. Then we used those word banks to expand our original drafts into something new! Here are a few of our revisions:
Miss Davis
Eighth Grade
Yellow Group
Sushi
By Summer M.
Layers of the taste
explodes like bombs in your mouth
smells fresher than ice
I will forever treasure
how it tastes like heaven
And with that said
I start to eat seven
Sushi is like home
Goggles
By Dahlila V.
Once I lost my goggles
I would’ve needed its
location on a map.
Its light blue color
made it perfect
for hiding.
Boom boom boom
stomp stomp
Banging feet searching
for a clue.
Miss Davis
Eighth Grade
Red Group
Controlling Wind
By Adrian G.
I imagine I was able to make a potion of
me controlling wind
I love the wind
The wind is with me
I grabbed a piece of a cloud
It felt soft
I put it inside to mix
I grabbed fresh air in a bag
I loved the breeze
Mixing time
There it is
the potion for me to control wind
I can clear the rainy days
and I can have the best summer break.
Softball
By Brianna G.
Base by base
day by day
new plays made all day
Get in the box
ready to hit
because I know
I hardly swing and miss
At shortstop
ready to make plays
3 outs heading your way
The opponents make way
as we clap their hands
knowing we get to stay
and win the next game
Soccer Girls
By Isaac M.
Soccer is a sport
It holds a special place in my heart
Just as much as soccer girls
Ima dive into her DMs like a goalie
Ima take a shot and try to score
They so fine I want to make her mine
My PS5
By Juan P.
You and me daily
We are bffs in our own way
The emotions you give me can’t be explained
When we’re together nothing else matters
You are and were my childhood
You brought me joy that never could be explained
You’re like a rock, something I could always
lean on, one day when you’re gone…
It will hurt, but I know our days our numbered
Sadness, laughter
You can even make me cry
I don’t know why
when I’m with you time just flies
We made memories I’ll never forget
I hope you’ll never forget me
From me to you,
Thank you
Miss Davis
Eighth Grade
Green Group
To Be Invisible
By Kristen S.
To be invisible you need many ingredients.
A pinch of flowers. A handful of raindrops.
To be invisible you need some petals from the nearest river,
to be invisible you need the scent of lavender.
Quick! Mix as fast as you can before the potion turns invisible!
Mix, mix, mix. You begin to panic. The potion starts to disappear before your very eyes!
You grab your bottle trying to gather the potion. You try to drink it, but… nothing is happening.
Feeling the rain fall on your face, you realize
you don’t need a potion to be invisible.
Pineapple upside down cake and crochet
By Ayanna Z.
It is vanilla cake with a thin slice of pineapple on top with a cherry in the middle. The patterns of it remind me of crocheting. The symmetry helps me understand why I like it so much. I start to smell the warm and cozy scent of the cake through the oven. All of us waiting at the table. I don’t like pineapple but the cake makes it better and it won’t be the same without.
