Last week, Grissom students got to learn about the lovely art of revision. While many students had previous experience with revising papers, we talked about what it feels like to work on poems until they feel right. After watching me edit my own poem, students tried their hand at a revision exercise to remix their poems. Check out a few poems below:
6th Grade
CaseOh The Remix
by Maite O.
I don’t know what to do
I’m going to sue
No food
Makes my tummy ache
No food will be wasted
My tongue might be twisted
I am food
When People Are Cringy
by Ethan G.
Cringy alarm that keeps going off
When people are, heart suddenly turns black
Like acid seeping into my soul
Like my that keeps asking me the same question
That keeps poking me
Like someone I step on a million legos
Like a cactus
Cringy
Like my heart turns black
Like my body crushes inside when people are
Our People Remix
My people play sports
My people are teachers
My people are writers
My people play soccer
We dribble the ball
We shoot goals
My people play baseball
Me and my people
hit dingers
My people hit home runs
My people play basketball
My people are PG, SG, CSFs
My people win and lose
My people are competitive
My people play football
My people can throw
My people can catch
My people love to eat!!
My people watch sports
My people play games
What do your people do x2
Love my people
People My
by Joel O.
Shopping
Board games
Going to the park with friends
Laughing I love that
What the sigma, I don’t know
smarts, good
sports, fun
math, work
recruiters, get people jobs
nurses that help people
steel workers, the smell
I Am Remix
by Rebecca H.
Swish
Swish
I am
I’m a ladybug
always polka-dotted
flap, flap
I am a flower,
always smelling good
just like food
swish!
I am a bald eagle
Whoosh!
As strong as a snake
But always took a break
I’m also a star
I always shine
Which is totally fine
Twinkle Twinkle!
I am me
Poetry
by Alex M.
Poetry is like school
It lets you learn a lot of things
Poetry is like reading a national geographic article
It makes you wonder
Poetry is like opening a present
You never know what you will get
Poetry is like missing an episode of a TV show
It makes you confused
by Bronx D.
7th Grade
My People
by Diego Q.
My people are hilarious
My people are athletic
My people love many sports
My people are intelligent
My Pillow Revised
by Delilah F.
My Cousins
by Eliana C.
Playing together
texting each other
Laughing together
Some are lawyers, defending people’s lives
some teach, growing kids’ minds
Some are nurses, saving people’s lives
Makeup and hair loving cousins
Athletic cousins
Artistic cousins.
What I Like
by Jonathan R.
Chomp, Chomp
i’m sweet and I like a good treat
I’m a piece of chocolate
bounce, bounce
I bounce all around my house
I’m a ball
whoosh, shh, shh
I move in the wind
as my leaves fall
They are pinned
I’m a tree
Chewing Reversed
by Ruby R.
Can you please chew quietly I kindly asked
So this loud sounds leaves my brain
I want you to be quiet
like bugs crawling all over me
my body tingles
Ew! Yuck!
With food moving around in it
Open and closes
the way their mouth slowly
smack smack smacks
All I hear is someone munching in my ear.
The Screech
by Ashton B.
I Can’t stand
Old paper book
When I hear
the annoying
screeeech!
It feels
like taking
1 inch
nails
and
scratching them across
a chalk board or the fragile,
old paper pages
of an old book
it’s so annoying
when I hear this its like when the tip of your pencil snaps
The goosebumps raise from my legs to my hands
it’s so annoying
I feel like having to curl up
and cover my ears
When i hear the annoying
Screeech! Of an old paper book.
8th Grade
Untitled
by Dylan S.
Poetry makes me feel good about myself
Like I’m listening to a J. Cole song
Poetry makes me feel calm
Poetry sometimes makes me bored
Sometimes it makes me feel like a Sunday.
Sleepy or mad.
Untitled
by Carlos C.
Yum Yum Yum
A Eater
They never
get enough
food
comforting
bzzz is all I
hear
yapper
yapping yapping
kind-hearted
a sleeper
Poem
by Alexis R.
I Am Spiderman
My power is web
strong, I help
people for a living
and swinging around
the air looking for
the bad ones
