We are getting closer to the end of our poetry residency. For their eighteenth week 5th and 6th graders had another rewrite session. To aid us in editing we looked at the poem “The Finish Line,” by Laura Salas. In her poem a group of poets are involved in a race, struggling to finish the final lap. Poets burst across the finish line/legs weak/bodies sweaty/brains drained.
Many students mentioned their own obstacles when trying to accomplish a goal not just in poetry but sports, gaming, and school. But just like the poets in Salas poems they feel a sense of excitement, pride, and relief when they reach the finish line. Every poem pounded out/Every stumble recovered from/Every word cheered/ Victory!
Before they cross the finish line, please read these amazing rewrites below.
Ms. Yassky’s 5th Grade
Group 1
How To Buy A Poem
by Azaria A.
A poem is like buying a pair of shoes.
The poem is like a book to rewrite.
Poems are like helping people with life.
My poem is like a boy I keep thinking about.
To my poem is keep up with life.
Captain Man and His Parrot
by Prentice C. and Aaron G.
Captain Man has to fight Dr. Peppermint
and was too powerful for Captain Man
and his parrot.
Captain Man noticed that he needed help.
So, he called his friend Kid Danger to help
him fight Dr. Peppermint.
After they tired many attacks on Dr. Peppermint,
he was still standing.
Then they realized that they needed more people.
So, Kid Danger called up Piper and Jasper to
help defeat Dr. Peppermint.
So the city can be safe.
Sleep ZZZ
by Ashonti H.
Sleep on a pillow.
Sleep on a sheep.
Sleep like you are soft
Sleep like you are squishy.
Sleep Sleep Sleep
Dream Dream Dream
All I want is to go to sleep.
The feeling you get when you’re hot
and you take the covers off, and
you scared the demons will get you,
so you pull the covers back on.
Ms. Yassky’s 5th Grade
Group 2
Everything Poem
By Eugene D.
I want a mother who
Pollution is like oreos
and water. They just
don’t mix.
is loving and always
cares about me. I want…
When it rains, I lay
down, get a pencil
and draw.
I want a mother who
Pollution is like oreos
and water. They just
don’t mix.
I want a mother who
can give me love. I want
a mother who…
My sister is as annoying
as a clown, but still fun.
I Hate ELA
By Tavious P.
I am in ELA,
I rather fly away.
I am trying to catch up on work,
but I rather catch you grade.
Time goes so slow,
I rather be at home.
I hate ELA.
I rather hit the hay.
The Boy and the Blue Phoenix
By Javier Y.
One day a boy is walking around, carrying
dumplings on a stick, when he saw a blue
phoenix.
The Phoenix said,”I’ll give you one wish if
you help me heal my injured wing.”
The boy was shocked. “OK. I’ll call the vet
to see if they can help. ” When he went to
see Ms. Vet, she said, “Our hours closed
right now.”
So the boy asked, “Do you have any spare supplies?”
Ms. Vet looked through her supplies and then she
asked, “What type of animal are you trying to
treat?” The boy said, “A Phoenix.”
Ms. Vet gasped,” I thought they were a myth!”
“Me too,” said the boy. “But here I am with one.”
“We’ll get another vet and get supplies,”
said Ms. Vet.
30 minutes later the supplies came and the boy took
the to the blue phoenix. “Great Phoenix,” he asked.
How do I repair your wing?”
“It injured,” said the Phoenix, “so clean it, and put
a bandage on it. And the boy did. He repaired the
blue phoenix’s wing.
Then the blue phoenix asked,”What is your wish?”
“My wish is to never leave your side,” said the boy.
And they lived together forever.
Ms. Henry’s 6th Grade
Group 1
Police Brutality
by Luke J.
Police Brutality is like a shark that hasn’t
eaten in days.
Police Brutality is like an untamed bull.
Police Brutality is like a dog
with no brain.
Police Brutality is a fierce lion.
Police Brutality is like a deadly
poisonous spider.
Police Brutality is a rattle snake
ready to eat its prey.
Bipolar Party
By Miracle M.
Fear tip toes in the corner of the room with her light
mellow purple dress.
Happiness makes the room bright with her smile
and is the life of the party.
Confidence dances like nobody is watching.
Jealousy makes everyone feel hated with a
mean mug on her face.
Sadness drags her feet and slumps in a chair.
Overwhelmed overflows with emotion and bursts with stress.
Fear feels unloved and goes in the bathroom filled with anxiety.
Courage is brave like a roaring lion fighting over their food and territory.
Anger is filled with rage and yells at everyone and leaves quickly.
Jealousy calls the police on the party cause they weren’t invited.
Fear turns into more anxiety.
Happiness’s mind is clear and makes it out the back door.
Jealousy smirks in her car.
Sadness doesn’t hesitate to getting arrested.
Overwhelmed makes it to the backdoor with Happiness,
because she was already over-thinking about this.
Courage says “Forget this,” new party at his place.
Spider Man
By Zamarrion N.
Hi, I am Spider Man.
I can stick to walls.
I can use my spider sense.
I can shoot webs.
When I’m angry I punch
my pillow to calm me down.
I also have two friends.
this is there names: Ned and MJ.
They help me a lot.
Oh! I almost forgot Aunt May.
She takes care of me ever since
Uncle Ben died.
I have been helping with the bills
and ever since I became Spider Man
I’ve been thinking about what Uncle
Ben told me:
With great power, comes great responsibility.
Academy Group
By Sanai P.
Ms. Henry’s 6th Grade
Group 2
The Hate U Give
By Elijah G.
The world is like the “Hate U Give,”
but the hat never stops.
If you’re a black person,
there’s always a cop
pulling u over and they
treat u like Khalil Harris.
Khalil Harris was a black
man who got shot. He did
nothing, but he was killed
by a racist cop.
The world is unfair.
The government always
says we are equal but
what about Trayvon?
Trayvon Martin was a black
teen who was walking home
with a bag of skittles and a
racist white man shot him.
Please put down the guns,
because I don’t want to
be next.
Dear Arabic
By Amina K.
Dear Arabic, you are beautiful.
To me you fly like a bird in the sky.
You make me feel special.
You make me feel rare.
I love saying, “Ossalamalakum,”
meaning, peace be with you.
A way of saying, “Hello.”
You make me feel special.
You make me feel rare,
even different.
You don’t sound like English
You don’t sound like Portuguese
You just sound like Arabic
And that difference has a special
place in my heart, that no other
language can replace.
Mas’alama (Goodbye)
-Amina K.
Paint Me
By Kaleb P.
Paint me with a keyboard.
Paint me without drama.
Paint me with my family.
Paint me without pain.
Paint me with friends.
Paint me without fake friends.
Paint me with bravery.
Paint me without fear.
Paint me with happiness.
Paint me without violence.
